Grab em in the nuts, slap em in the ass

Being a parent is a lot like being Christopher Columbus. You’re sailing unknown waters, out on an adventure of discovery, not knowing whats ahead, or when you’ll get there. You think your the first one to do it, the first to see these strange things, even though Erik the Viking and billions of other humans have already beat you to it. You’re in search of… spices? A quick way to get to India? How to get more than a three hours sleep? You think you know what you’re looking for, but what you get is so much bigger and better. This little discovery could rule your world one day.
Columbus had his share of advice, I’m sure. Some good, some not. That guy who said he’d fall off the edge of the earth was most likely the village idiot, but wouldn’t it make you wonder? Man, what if he’s right? Falling off the edge of the earth would suck. The point is, he didn’t know if advice was good or bad. He just had to give it a whack.

We’ve gotten lots of advice ourselves. And thankfully, we haven’t fallen off the edge of the earth. We haven’t found a western passage to India yet either, but that long stretch of sleep is coming, we can just feel it. Here are a couple of reasons why:

1. Change out the diaper before the feed.

This advice comes from Carol, the mother of our brother in law, Nathan. The theory was at first counterintuitive, since Tory loves to poop while he eats, and you normally like to change a diaper after the poop occurs. Well, it turns out he loves to poop pretty much any time, so trying to keep him dry is no longer a goal. And he screams the loudest when we change him, making me wonder if he also loves sitting in it.

By changing him prior to the feed, we avoid the over stimulation of the changing of the diapy, and allow a calming milk coma to flow over, promoting rest through out the household.

Thank you, Carol.

2. The Heather Hold

There are many ways to hold a baby, many theories on which is the best. I’m here to discuss neither. This carry came from our friend Heather. She probably got it from someone else, but a source is a source, and she gets the credit here. It goes like this: Face the child out, reaching across the body, and grab the opposite thigh. It looks like you’ve got them by the crotch, but its the thigh that provides the better support. Then gently pat them on the butt. It works like a charm with Tory.

We often refer to this hold as “Grab ’em by the nuts, slap ’em in the ass.” Word has it that it also works like a charm on Heather’s husband, Dolf. Thanks, Heather.
Here is a picture of the Heather Hold, sans the slapping in the ass part:

If anyone else has a tip to share, feel free to leave it in the comments section. A four hour stretch of sleep is on the horizon.