I resolve to keep this site updated, on time this year.
Kari and I recently took a class on the Love and Logic® parenting… uh, technique?? Method?? Whatever… its a way for us to be on the same page, and have a plan about how we raise our kids. Basically its a way to give kids choices and consequences on the way to becoming responsible people.
It’s not easy
It hasn’t been easy so far. It sometimes feels like battles are created that could easily be avoided. I gave him the choice between two shirts one morning. He chose the blue shirt, and as I was putting it on him he decided he wanted the brown one. Instead of saying, ok and letting him wear the other, as I would normally do (because who cares, really), I said, bummer, maybe tomorrow you’ll get to choose the other one. BAM – Huge blow up, fits and crying ensue. Uh Oh, I said, looks like its Tory needs a little bedroom time, and I left him in his room to have his fit. A few minutes later I went back in while he was still crying, gave him a big hug and told him I loved him. We went on with our day, and he completely forgot about the brown shirt.
A whiff of success is all it takes
We’re starting to have success. Choosing our outfits in the morning are much smoother, and quicker. He makes his choices and lives with them. No battles. We no longer take 20 minutes to get our coats and boots on to get out the door. Tory knows what’s expected of him and if he choses to not go along, there’ll be a consequence.
Does it sound like we’re forcing him into doing things our way? I don’t think so. The choice is usually his to make (there are some choices he doesn’t have, like running out into the street) and there is a consequence to that choice, good or bad. We’re empowering him to make good choices.
The thing that has always irritated me the most is the whining and the crying. I’m realizing now that it’s our fault for allowing it to happen. It’s been easy to just give in when I’m tired and don’t want to listen to it anymore. It takes more diligence and patience and work and effort. It’s harder. But it makes sense, especially when I think ahead to what they’ll be like when they’re older. I want them to be responsible and take ownership and understand there are consequences to the choices made.
At least now we finally have a plan. Here’s a link to the Love and Logic website.
And now for a couple of gratuitous shots of the kids
I’m sure everyone has a different idea of what sleeping through the night means, but for us, a 6 hour stretch means we’ve made it through the woods. It means only one feeding at night. It means getting up only ONCE at night.
Last night Tegan did it. Six hours straight.
Let the hallelujahs begin!
When I was in kindergarten, we got to perform the story of The Three Billy Goats Gruff. I don’t remember much of the story, except that there were three goats who crossed a bridge and troll who threatened to eat them, and then the goats ended up pummeling the troll. And I think the moral of the story had something to do with the grass being greener on the other side of the bridge. Or don’t mess with goats…
This has got me thinking about baby envy, and lack of baby envy. Here’s how it goes:
- Before you have your first baby, you are envious of those who already have one.
- After you have your first baby, you are envious of those that have none.
- Before you have your second baby, you think how great it would be to have two.
- After you have your second baby, you think how great having just one was.
- Before you have your third you think how crazy it would be to have a third.
- Thankfully you came to your senses and never had the third.
- As they get older and move out of the house, you wish you’d had the third, and possibly fourth. (This is just a guess).
Overall I’m very happy that we have two. I’m also glad (for now) that we won’t be having a third. And yes, at times, I’m envious of my friends that have only one (and surprisingly less envious of those with none). Here’s a gratuitous picture of Tegan, just to spur on what ever envy you are experiencing at the moment.
After all the wrangling that goes into naming the child, once she’s here it becomes fun to start calling her other cute little names. Here’s mine thus far:
- Grunter – because of the predominant sound that emanates from her
- Squaker – for the tetradactyl like sounds she makes
- Baby – As in, ‘Hey Baby, why are you fussing… or ‘Hey Kari, the Baby is fussing again.’
I do call her Tegan fairly often, but mostly thus far she’s just ‘The Baby.’ Kari probably has a few others, stuff like, ‘Tegie’ and ‘Sweetie,’ I’m not really sure.
I have never owned my own TV.
Ok, so that either makes me an unsophisticated yokel, or a crazy, spittle ridden anti-television crusader guy, right?. Well, maybe. But between us, Kari and I have four computers. We often rent TV series on Netflix. I think the Office is pretty dang funny. And what would Sunday’s in the fall be without the NFL?
The truth is, I’ve never needed one. Either someone else I lived with had one, or I was moving around too much to make owning one practical. Once Kari and I started moving from place to place, we just got used to not watching, and we didn’t miss it.
Fast forward to 4 months ago. We’re now renting a fully furnished condo, replete with two TV’s, and the remote controls. For the first month they sat there unnoticed. Sometime during the second month, I found a pair of rabbit ears stashed in a closet. The third month all heck broke loose. We found that a.m. cartoons had a calming effect on the morning routine. Soon enough, Tory’s first words after getting up were no longer nah-nah (bananna), but Tar-toon (give you one guess). I told myself it was ok, because it was PBS Kids. All educational programming and no commercials, right?
Well, not according to American Academy of Pediatrics. They recommend that kids under 2 watch zero TV. They say it hinders brain development and creativity. They say it leads to attention problems. They probably say a whole lot more, but the article is long, and I’d read enough.
So our little cartoon addict will be getting cut off. We’ll still let him watch his sign language dvd’s once in a while (they’ve helped a lot with his ability to communicate with us). But no more Sid the Science Kid, no more Curious George. No more Thomas. Not for a while, anyway. And for us, it means mornings more engaged with the boy, and less engaged with what ever else we need to do. Which is ok, I spend entirely too much time in front of the computer.